"THE THEORY OF REGULARITY"

       Today I was thinking of an old friend, and realised that I had no idea how old that friend
actually was.  I thought to contact her and ask her when her birthday was.  Of course, logic suggests that she would then ask me the same question, which made me think of the answer, and that set off a whole big chain of philosophical reasoning and other gibberish.  Maybe I knew how old she was once.  And maybe I would rather not tell her how old her old friend actually was. 
       I have a theory about birthdays.  I have a theory about a lot of things actually; things that
were once confusing but now make perfect sense to me.  You've heard of the Theory of Relativity?  Well, this one's called "The Theory of Regularity".  Bear with me, OK?  I promise I'll go away in a minute...
       Think of things that you do that happen regularly.  Like sleeping at night.  As time passes in
life, some of those things become less dependable, less predictable and less regular.  Things like
cognition, cell turnover and bowel movements?  Well I think birthdays should be added to the list.  If "other things" get to leave the building, some of which a person actually needed - then having
birthdays less frequently seems only logical, amirite?  Yeah?
       So that's my theory an' I'm stickin' to it.  :)


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